So I was posting chapter two and my phone closed the tumblr app so ill have to rewrite and post it tonight. It involves a flash back and niall and ashton’s first meeting
So I have writers block for the next chapter. How would you, the readers, want Niall and Ashton to have their first conversation?
The suns peaking in the under the sheer cover of the curtain. It’s August 23, 2010 and my first day out of my house in almost three months. Todays my first day of junior year at a new school with people who won’t know my past and probably couldn’t care if I chose to continue my future. Slowly I pull myself out of bed, walk to the bathroom and strip myself of what little clothe I had on. I let the water run for awhile while I put on some music to calm my anxiety. I really don’t care what anyone at Trinity thinks of me, I don’t have anyone to try for since they left me, it’s just covering the faded white scars on my upper wrist maybe a bit of a challenge. Shaking the thought from my head I sink myself into the full tub until my head reaches the bottom and quickly open my eyes. What bliss it is. Quiet, the only sound is the movements of the water, for a moment I remember what peace felt like. I stay like this for awhile until I pry myself out, blow drying my hair to the point the water is non-reminiscent, it looks like bed head in a way. Who cares? My closet is full of the old me, pinks and pastels, Ralph Lauren sweaters and polo’s, khaki bottoms from lacoste and the perfect brown leather shoes. But the problem is, those clothes aren’t me anymore. I rummage around a bit until I find a black sweater, two sizes too big, I throw on some black tights underneath and my brown leather riding boots. It’s almost comical how different I look right now compared to six months ago with my private school friends in our expensive clothes, always competing for the limelight high school insues. Now I’m stranding in front of my mirror and im almost unrecognizable. I like that. Twenty minutes to get to school, so I throw on nude make-up, my satchel and run down stairs. Mom’s staring at me as I get in the range rover, she sees the change too, and it scares the living shit out of her. But not enough to notice the scars. Not enough to care. When I arrive at Trinity I quickly find my way to the main office and find my first class. Advanced English. Perfect. Mrs. Daniels is late to class by 15 minutes and walks into a class ,full of kids who have probably know each other since grade school, sitting around chattering at a intolerable volume. She announces that we have to introduce ourselves; the standard name, what you do for fun, what you did for summer, and one interesting fact. “Volunteers? Anyone?” she asks. Almost immediately a boy jumps up, he’s blonde but clearly his brown roots are evident; he walks up to the front of the class, getting “Hey Niall” “Niall!!!” and high fives thrown his way. When he finally gets to the front after being bombarded by hellos, I notice his eyes, blue cool and icy but welcoming and lively all at once. The minute he begins I know what kind of person he is; popular, well-known, swooned over by the under and upper classmen. He is the Dean of Trinity. “What’s up guys, well you lot already know me so obviously I’m Niall. Uhm I spent my summer with friends; partying and hanging out. For fun I Play soccer, but you all knew that. And lastly I’m hilarious and might I say the most good looking person in this school, but once again you already knew that.” Everyone laughs and he truly knows he is the main man on campus. The girl next to me, Bay is her name I think, swoons over him while telling her friends about how her and the Niall boy had a summer fling. The jealousy in her friends eyes is evident though they act happy for her; though Bay says she ended it, the pain in her voice at the end of the sentence suggests otherwise. He’s making his way back to his seat, when we make eye contact, he gives me a cheeky smirk and mouths “hello” it sends shivers down my back. I see Dean in him and even parts of the old me. Almost immediately I hate him and am jealous. He’s everything I was; popular, worshipped, adored, care free, invincible but most of all he was the one thing I could never be again. Happy.
I’m not sure when it happened exactly. Was it before Phoenix’s death or when Dean left me? I don’t remember, but I do still know how it felt when the storm hit. It felt like I was in the middle of the ocean, water filling my lungs, no one in sight to hear my screams. The water of sorrow took me in and hasn’t let me out. So much has changed, when Phoenix died, it felt like I lost not only my best friend but my brother. Why did he leave me? Why didn’t he tell me how he felt? It’s my fault, I don’t deserve to keep living. I neglected Phoenix when he needed me most, kind of like Dean did to me when the darkness came. So here I am three months later, the light of summer has faded and I didn’t even realize that it’s time for school to start. Did I mention i’m starting public school seeing as how West Lexington Prep became a walking memory when Phoenix left. When the two boys I loved most left me, so did everyone else I had considered my friends. When you’re the most popular girl at a elite private school you would think people who care to see how you’re dealing with the losses but no. No one really cares. Tomorrow’s my first day at Trinity High. No one will know who I am. No one will care. No one will realize if i’m there one day and gone the next. I like the thought of that.